"I went from overworked, uptight workaholic, to cool, kind and connected unschooling mamma....well, I'm a work in progress"

Before the connected, fun, unschooling mamma, there was an uptight, highly strung, business woman,

completely conflicted about the kind of parent she wanted to be,

who gaiged her worthiness, by her busy-ness. 

A dedicated people pleaser, over achiever and perfectionist who had no idea who she truly was, doing everything for the prestige, the praise or the pat on the back.

I was the picture of success on the outside, but on the inside I was anxious and DESPERATE for approval.

Then she chose me as her mamma. 😍 Our children are like our angels from heavan, shining a light on all of our 'stuff'. It dawned on me that parenting would be just as much about my development as it was for the tiny little person in my arms.....even more so.....and I had work to do.

My busy-ness and non stop pushing to do EVERYTHING and be EVERYTHING had become my identity. I had no idea who I was without it....there was just MUM. What a beautiful place to start. 

Skate Parks, Schools, Success Coaching and Many Missteps

While my crazy busy corporate and business days saw me Coaching leaders in the finance industry, building and running skate parks and coaching other women in business, I could never have been prepared for the life changing impact of motherhood.

WE WERE RESPECTFUL PARENTING LATE STARTERS: The guilt is real when I say my oldest daughter didn't experience the same respectful, connected start to life my youngest did. While it wasn't all bad, my initial thoughts on parenting were quite traditional. Paired with the pressure I placed myself under with our businesses, working part time in my corporate career and freelance business coaching.....the combo wasn't great.  I was rarely 100% present my attention pulled in every direction, I was impatient, cranky,unhappy, highly strung, rushed, stressed and raised my voice more than I'd like, with the fun mamma shining through only on occasion. 😓 Thankfully, children are extremely forgiving. 

It began when we started researching schools in my daughter's second year. The more we saw, the more I realised I wasn't comfortable with any of them. The research began and school became less and less appealing to us. 

When my son was born, I was very lucky to meet a beautiful women through my 'due in' group who unschooled her children.  That was it.  After lots of research and discussion, we were hooked.  We KNEW this was the best choice for our children. That was the beginning of our life without school and our introduction to respectful parenting. 

It became clear the life we were leading was not conducive to the life we desired for our children and ultimately ourselves. But we felt powerless to change it.

The universe dragged as toward our dream life kicking and screaming..... things got much more difficult, before they got better.

After 10 years, our businesses were no longer working for us.  They were literally sucking the life (and money) out of us. The emotional, physical and financial pressure was more than we could bare. The extreme stress took it's toll on our family. Times were tough.

There were 1000's of missteps, some of them more than missteps. Some of them big, giant heart wrenching blows but we knew we had to make big changes......for our family.

So we did.

Under huge financial & emotional pressure, we had to make hard life changing decisions and many sacrifices for our family.

We sold our businesses, we sold most of what we owned, ..........we had to start over......before our 3rd precious baby was born.

We're All About.....

In our family we believe:

  • In fun and adventure!
  • In embracing and role modelling compassion, gratitude, SUPPORT (both giving and receiving) and the pursuit of happiness for EVERY INDIVIDUAL in our family.
  • In embracing what works for us, NOT societal norms or even alternative paths.  We don't do 'boxes'.  We do what works for US.
  • In creating the mindset shifts necessary to live happily, pursuing our passions and fostering connection, respect and FUN in our family.
  • In natural learning through living and fostering and facilitating learning through our own interests, this applies to our children too.
  • That our children deserve our respect and guidance, not shame and humiliation.  
  • In Self-compassion and embracing our own imperfections, letting ourselves be seen and honouring our vulnerability.
  • And that all this can sometimes go out the door and that is completely OK, we get on with it, we get over it, nobody is perfect.

We do our best to strive for these things, but we aren't perfect!  It certainly does not look like all sunshine and rainbows at our house. I am not the perfect, respectful parent. I can throw down like a fiesty 2 year old at times! Parenting's a tough gig.  I say sorry, move on and try again tomorrow.

 

Things You Should Know About Me

  • Someone described me once as having the head of a nerd and the heart of the hippy.  I think that's pretty accurate. 
  • I love to watch trashy reality TV.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of New York and Vanderpump Rules are some of my faves.
  • Getting out in to the forest or to the beach is really important for my sanity.
  • I don't like labels.  I understand their necessity but I don't like having one. To much pressure to uphold it, I guess thats remanence of my old conditioning.
  • I can't spell, I use autocorrect, but sometimes dodgy grammer or incorrectly spelt theres and they'res get through.  When I was in business, I would pay someone to check it, but for now, I'm ok with it, may you be too. ;-)
  • I swear sometimes.  Not a lot, but sometimes.  And not the c word or anything, but you can expect shit, crap and the occasional F-Bomb, when I'm getting really passionate.  If you are going to get all high and mighty about it, we can't be friends.
  • I'm not perfect and I reserve the right to change my mind at anytime.  I'll be open and honest about that too.

NOW I SAY THESE FOLLOWING POINTS WITH LOVE: 

  • I write this page with the intention that it's readers are others with similar ethos to my own. They are open minded and possibly considering, are genuinley interested in, or are living, life without school. NOT WITH THE INTENTION OF TRIGGERING THOSE WHO CHOOSE SCHOOL. BUT because this is a space where I write my personal opinions and why we chose this way of life, there will be triggering content for some.  
  • If you find yourself frustrated, aggressive or feeling the need to put our choices down or argue about them, I invite you to process that away from the page and potentially consider following a blog more in line with your own ethos. 
  • I believe life is like a 'choose your own path' book (does anyone remember those?  Do they still have them?  they were fab!).  While this is my story and what works for me, I wouldn't expect that everything I do will work for you. Take some, leave some- whatever you like.  xx

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